The single most important factor in therapy is not the therapist’s school of thought, education, years of experience or techniques, but the therapeutic alliance.  The therapeutic alliance is the relationship between the client and therapist. It is based on trust, safety, communication, collaboration, and presence. If a client feels that their therapist is a trustworthy and nonjudgemental person with the client’s best interest at heart, they will be able to show up as their authentic selves, which enables the process of healing.

There is a powerful video called Poodle Science that I often think about when talking about body image. In the video, society suddenly decides that poodles are the ideal. Other dogs- bulldogs, dachshunds, greyhounds- begin comparing themselves to poodles. They diet, they feel inadequate, and they try to reshape themselves into something they were never meant to be. It is no different when it comes to human beauty standards. Cultural ideals shift over decades, and bodies that were once celebrated become criticized. The truth? Most of us are trying to become poodles when we are built differently.

Have you ever set a New Year’s resolution and stuck to it the entirety of the year? Yeah, me either. That’s like saying you finished a chapstick before you lost it or sent it through a load of laundry. Theoretically possible, but I’ve yet to meet a person who can admit to achieving it.

Winter can be a difficult time for many- the sun abruptly sets at 5 pm after a summer spent drinking in the outdoors, the chill ushers you inside, your body loudly requests more time to sleep. The cheer of holiday gatherings and twinkling lights help to lift our spirits until New Year’s celebrations have passed and we settle in for three more months of winter weather. A friend said to me this week, “I leave the house for work at six in the morning, its cold and dark out. Then I get off work at four pm and by the time I get home the sun has set. How am I supposed to have the motivation to do anything?”